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10 Types of Relationships

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10 Types of Relationships – Relationships come in so many different forms. What kind of relationship do you have? The type of relationship that you have can depend on your personality as well as the dynamic that you have with your significant other.

It is always important to discuss what kind of relationship you want with your significant other. Communication and honesty are essential.

There is such a wide variety of relationships that you and your significant other can choose from. Think about what you both want and need from each other.

Do you need your girlfriend or boyfriend to be with you and only you? Or do you want to date other people as well?

Would you like a relationship where you spend almost all of your free time together or do you want a relationship where you get to keep your independence?

Remember that you and your significant other are the ones who get to define your relationship. You have to work together to find the relationship that suits both of you.

If you are unhappy with your relationship or find yourself thinking that you might want something different than what you have now, then you have the ability to have the kind of relationship that you want for yourself.

Read about out the relationships below to see which one fits yours or to find out what kind of relationship is the most ideal for you.

TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS

1. MONOGAMOUS

A monogamous relationship is what we tend to view as the traditional relationship. It is a relationship in which two people have decided to be exclusive and are only with each other.

When you decide to be in a monogamous relationship, you are committing yourself to that one special person in your life. This man or woman will be your one and only love.

While a monogamous relationship sounds like an ideal situation, it is not without its challenges. You have to be patient and find ways to keep the spark going.

Monogamy is not for everyone and some people do not do well in this kind of relationship. If you feel like you cannot have just one partner, then monogamy might not work for you.

Sometimes people get bored in their relationships or they wonder what they might be missing out on. If you are in a monogamous relationship, it is important that you do not let your eyes start to wander.

Cheating can threaten a monogamous relationship. In many cases, infidelity can even end the relationship that you have with your significant other.

You definitely do not want to break the trust in your monogamous relationship. Remember that it important to have open and honest communication with your partner.

There are times when people will try to test the boundaries of their monogamous relationship. Someone might do this by flirting with other people. Even if nothing really happens, flirting with someone outside of your monogamous relationship is still wrong.

In a monogamous relationship, there can be something comforting about the thought that you have someone who is completely devoted to you. Romantically speaking, your partner’s attention will be completely on you.

2. OPEN RELATIONSHIP

An open relationship means that the relationship is not limited to just the two people. The people who are in an open relationship are open to dating other people as well.

This is the opposite of a monogamous relationship. Like in any relationship, there should be trust and communication in a healthy open relationship.

An open relationship should not necessarily be seen as a free for all. It does not mean that you can just do whatever you want.

Even though it is an open relationship, you cannot neglect your partner. You should still set rules and boundaries and there are many different elements to think about.

You might decide that you are okay with your partner being emotionally involved with other people. Or you might feel like you are okay with your partner being intimate with others as long as they do not develop feelings.

Are you okay with seeing people that you know or should the other people involved be strangers? That is for you and your partner to decide.

Some people who are in an open relationship might talk about the other people that they are seeing. Others may feel uncomfortable doing so and will prefer to know as little as possible.

In an open relationship, you will also want to establish how much time you can spend on the other people you see. You might be okay with going on dates or you might prefer that these encounters are just hookups.

You will also want to establish what is and is not okay in the bedroom. There might be certain acts that you just do not feel okay about. If that is the case, then you should say so to your partner and ideally, they will respect your wishes.

Some people do not want their partner to kiss the other people that they are seeing as they feel like kissing is too romantic and intimate.

If you are in an open relationship, then you should always remember to be safe. Remember to check in with your significant other on a regular basis and to make sure that you are respecting each other’s wishes as well.

3. POLYAMOROUS

In a polyamorous relationship, the number of people is more than two. Other people are welcomed into the relationship and it is not considered cheating because everyone is in a relationship together.

This is a little different than an open relationship because all of the people are involved with each other, while open relationships are kept more separate. In an open relationship, there is one main partner, while in a polyamorous relationship, there are several partners.

In a polyamorous arrangement, everyone’s lives are more intertwined and sometimes everyone will even live together under the same roof. You will have to make sure that you all get along.

This type of arrangement can make the relationship a little more complicated at times since there are more emotions, needs, and dynamics to take into consideration.

Remember to sit down with your partner to discuss your guidelines and rules. In any relationship, you have to be on the same page.

This can especially apply to a polyamorous arrangement. Usually, the two main people in a polyamorous relationship are called the dyad. Then there are the additional people you bring into the relationship. Sometimes, this addition will not work out.

If you want to be in a polyamorous relationship, then it is important that you choose another person that you both would enjoy. On the other hand, not everyone will be romantically involved in a polyamorous relationship.

Other times, this person will seamlessly become a part of your relationship. Try to spend equal time with your partners. It is important that everyone can get along well.

It is only natural to want to feel included, so make sure that you do not make anyone in this arrangement feel neglected or left out.

Jealousy is something that can happen all too easy in any relationship, let alone a polyamorous one. Make sure that you stay on top of how everyone is feeling.

A polyamorous relationship can get complicated because of all the different people and feelings involved. If you are in a polyamorous relationship then you should always be honest and talk about your feelings. Respect each other’s boundaries to make sure that nobody gets hurt in the process.

4. LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP

A long-distance relationship can really test the strongest of relationships. This is when two people are in a relationship but they live far away from each other.

Sometimes when two people live far apart, they decide to no longer be in a relationship. It can be hard work to be in a relationship where you cannot see your significant other on a regular basis.

Some people decide that they still want to be together regardless of distance, and that is what a long-distance relationship is. In a long-distance relationship, there will often be many phone calls and visits.

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10 Types of Relationships

Instead of hopping in your car to visit your significant other, you might have to hop on a plane. It can be frustrating but for the right people, a long-distance relationship is worth it.

Ideally, long-distance relationships are just temporary and there is a plan one day for the two people in the relationship to live together. This can be hard to plan as one person will have to decide to leave their job, family, or friends to live with their significant other.

To make a long-distance relationship work, communication is key. Even though it is important in any relationship, it really is essential here because you are not seeing each other on a regular basis.

Because you do not see each other all the time, you have to find ways to keep the relationship interesting. You can even be romantic and send each other things in the mail. Try writing each other letters the old-fashioned way.

Some people will think that you are crazy about being in a long-distance relationship. But if you really love each other, then it will be worth it.

5. DOMINANT AND SUBMISSIVE RELATIONSHIP

If someone is in a dominant and submissive relationship, then that means that they are either dominant or submissive in the bedroom. Some people even switch between the two roles of dominant and submissive.

50 Shades of Gray is an easy example of a story that has a dominant and submissive relationship. In a typical dominant and submissive relationship there is bondage and a variety of toys used in the bedroom.

Even though the idea of dominant and submissive applies heavily to the bedroom, a dominant and submissive aspect to a relationship can apply to all aspects of this couple’s life. The dominant person will take the reigns and be the leader while the submissive one will want to please them.

While this kind of relationship is considered wild by many, it still has its own set of boundaries. There are rules that should be followed and you should respect each other’s wishes in the process.

In this kind of relationship, you still have to make sure that you are being respectful and safe with each other.

6. CO-DEPENDENT RELATIONSHIP

A co-dependent relationship is one where the two people in it are always attached at the hip. They are rarely seen without each other and it feels like they do everything together.

It might even seem as if these people cannot function when they are apart. This is when a co-dependent relationship becomes unhealthy.

In a healthy relationship, you should be able to be apart from your significant other sometimes. You should not have to rely on them for everything.

Sometimes your significant other will need a night out with friends or they will be apart from you because of school or work. That is why it is important to not become overly dependent on them.

7. CASUAL RELATIONSHIP

A casual relationship is usually one where the relationship is relatively new. You and this other person have been seeing each other, but you have not necessarily defined the relationship.

You might not even be calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend yet. You may even be seeing other people or maybe you are not.

People who are in a casual relationship typically do not meet the other person’s family members. Sometimes they will not even meet the friends either.

Because people in casual relationships are not serious, they typically do not introduce each other to the important people in their lives. This makes sense because there is no commitment on either end.

In a casual relationship, people like to keep their options open in case another possible person interests them. If you know that you cannot handle this type of dynamic, then do not enter into a casual relationship.

You should feel comfortable asking for what you want and need in a relationship, whether that means settling down and being serious.

8. FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS

A friends with benefits situation is not exactly a relationship. It is a relationship in which two people agree to be intimate but with no strings attached.

In this situation, there should be no romantic feelings involved. You are not boyfriend and girlfriend and you are not exclusive. This is purely a casual, physical relationship.

It can be tricky to enter into a friends with benefits situation as you will be attempting the physical part of a relationship without there being any emotional attachment at all.

This person will not be your partner, your girlfriend, or your boyfriend. This will just be a person that you are attracted enough to hook up with.

If there is no commitment, then why agree to this type of relationship? For some people it feels more beneficial to have an arrangement where there are no expectations.

People who want to have friends with benefits enjoy the freedom to experiment in the bedroom. It is a way for them to have fun without having to worry about the complexities of a committed romantic relationship.

In a friends with benefits arrangement, you have to worry a lot less about hurting the other person’s feelings. You do not have to be obligated to do things you do not want to do and you are not tied down to one another.

Despite your best efforts, one of you might develop feelings anyway. It is important to be honest and communicative in this arrangement.

There are some questions that you might have to ask yourself about your friend with benefits. How would you feel if this person met someone else?

How would you feel if your friend entered into a monogamous relationship? Would you be okay or would you actually feel pretty bad?

Do you think your friendship will be able to survive this sort of intimacy? Will you actually be able to stay friends with this person?

Just because you and your friend are being intimate, it does not mean that it will develop into an actual relationship. Some friends with benefits situations can even last for years.

Sometimes friends with benefits take a break from each other and then they will resume their relationship again much later down the road.

Sometimes they step away from each other if they find a girlfriend or boyfriend. And then sometimes they reconnect again later on if that relationship does not work out.

9. ENGAGEMENT

An engagement is an arrangement that happens when two people who are in a relationship decide to marry each other.

In order for two people to become engaged, a proposal has to happen. Traditionally, the guy will talk to the girl’s parents about his intentions to marry her. If the guy is really traditional then he will ask the girl’s parents for their blessing.

Different cultures have different customs when it comes to engagement. Usually, there is an engagement ring involved.

Traditionally, a proposal is a well-thought-out event. Usually, it is the guy who does the proposing but sometimes it is the woman who does it instead.

There are many ways to propose to someone. You can do it at a restaurant or where you had your first date.

Proposals are usually planned in secret and the other person either does not know that they are about to get proposed to or they do not know how and when it will happen.

Even though proposals are a surprise, you should talk about marriage together just to make sure that you are on the same page. If one of you does not want to get married or does not feel ready for it yet, then you should not try to get engaged.

When two people become engaged, then they will begin to plan their wedding. Some people have short engagements of a few months while others will be engaged for a few years.

10. TOXIC RELATIONSHIP

A toxic relationship is not the kind of relationship that you want to be in. This is a relationship that is unhealthy.

What you have going on might be toxic because of one person in the relationship or both people involved might be at fault. If someone in the relationship is being harmed, intentionally or unintentionally, then it might be a toxic relationship.

In a toxic relationship, you will see more than just the occasional ups and downs. Instead, it is more like an emotional rollercoaster that is draining and damaging to a person’s wellbeing.

If something bad is happening in the relationship pretty much every day, then that is a serious red flag that your relationship is not a healthy one.

Here are some other signs that you might be in a toxic relationship. You might feel like your significant other has a bad day and then takes it all out on you.

This person might be relying on you to solve all of their problems and to fix everything for them. While it is important to be there for a loved one, they should not try to put the entire burden on you.

Some toxic relationships are even abusive. Abuse can be physical but it can be mental and emotional as well.

You might feel like this person is always trying to control you and that you have to walk on eggshells around him or her. Those are just a few signs of a possible toxic relationship.

While some toxic relationships can be saved, both people have to be willing to change things for the better.

What Are Different Types of Relationships?

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What Are Different Types of Relationships? – Platonic, romantic, sexual. Partners, spouses, or just friends. There are soooo many ways people interact with—and need—each other. It can be helpful to know more about the way we connect because today’s definitions are evolving. Here’s a roundup.

Humans are innately social beings. Even those who prefer their own company typically have a broad network of other people that make a big impact on their lives.

Understanding the kind of relationship you have with another person (or people) and what that might mean can sometimes be hard. This is partly because there are as many different forms of relationships as there are people to have relationships with.

Almost all of us will have most of the following relationship types throughout our lives. They can also tend to change over time, becoming more or less close or changing type, such with the breakup of a romance.

What Is a Platonic Relationship?

Platonic relationships are those you have with people you are especially close to but don’t have a sexual or romantic relationship with. Examples include close friends and mentors. According to Nicolas Meade, PsyD, a postdoctoral associate at the Yale School of Medicine’s Gender Program, “we generally hold great affection and care for our platonic partners, just without romantic or sexual desire.”

This type of relationship can be as fulfilling, intimate, and loving as any other relationship type, but it’s often less narrowly defined. It can also involve any number of people, from a pair of best friends to a larger group.

Most people have many different platonic relationships throughout their lives, from the time they are very young. They can come and go or last a lifetime.

And there isn’t always a total lack of romantic or sexual desire, either. You might develop these feelings for people you once only viewed platonically, or platonic relationships can develop out of terminated (or never initiated) romantic and/or sexual relationships. As long as these desires aren’t acted on, the relationship would still be considered platonic.

What Are Familial Relationships?

There is a lot of variation in familial relationships, a term that covers parents, uncles and aunts, grandparents, stepparents, siblings, cousins, children, and many others. Familial relationships are often among the most important in people’s lives, in addition to the longest-lasting.

When there is significant family dysfunction, such as neglect or abuse, or when family members pass away, people often turn to what are called “chosen families.” (This can happen in the absence of trauma or loss, too.) These are similar, deep but non-romantic relationships that center on people we meet later in life and who aren’t connected to us genetically. Meade emphasizes that while “we generally do not have a choice who we are connected to in a familial way […] chosen families are valid familial relationships, too.” He also points out that “conflict can be quite normal” among families and isn’t always a sign of dysfunction.

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What Are Different Types of Relationships?

Family, whether we’re born into it or choose it, plays an important role in how we develop as individuals. Our understanding of culture and how we fit into society, for example, often begins with family. Traditions are typically passed down through family lines as well.

Defining Romantic Relationships

These are best understood as relationships with a deeper level of intimacy and commitment than friendships. You might feel comfortable sharing thoughts, fantasies, and experiences with your romantic partner that you don’t with anyone else. According to Meade, you’re also likely to be more physically intimate with them: “Some romantic relationships involve physical expressions of intimacy that may be different from platonic and/or sexual relationships (holding hands, hugging, cuddling, etc.).”

Romantic relationships are often sexual, but they aren’t always. Non-sexual romances are just as valid.

There isn’t always an easy way to describe the difference between a romantic and a close platonic relationship. As a rule, a healthy romantic relationship involves more intimacy, a deeper bond of trust, and a mutual understanding of the role that all the people involved play in each other’s lives. They also tend to involve making a clear commitment to one another.

About Sexual Relationships

Sexual relationships form any time you engage in sexual activity with other people, which can be as part of another kind of relationship (such as a friendship or romance) or on its own. They can last any length of time and involve any number of other people. They also often come alongside romantic relationships, so some people think of them as the same, but this isn’t the case.

Some people only form sexual relationships with romantic partners, some only enter into casual relationships without a romantic element, and others have a mix of these throughout their lives.

As sex involves a deep level of physical intimacy, clear and unambiguous consent from everyone involved is essential. Meade emphasizes that, “while consent is important to all relationships, it plays a uniquely important role in sexual relationships, and partners should talk about consent throughout the relationship and with every encounter.”

What Are Polyamorous Relationships?

Polyamorous relationships are usually romantic or sexual and involve multiple partners at the same time. The relationship with each partner can be different, and each partner can also have other relationships of their own.

A polyamorous relationship doesn’t necessarily mean that the people involved aren’t committed to one another. Some involve groups of people who are comfortable with their partner having relationships with multiple people, while others involve a small group who are only in relationships with one another. In some cases, partners in the same relationship might not know one another or have an entirely different relationship of their own.

Meade notes that “a healthy polyamorous relationship, just like any relationship, requires strong communication skills and respect for one’s partners.”

Psychologists have defined these different relationship types by looking at multiple dimensions of relating, including communication, romance, trust, sexuality, and the number of involved partners. But the ways we relate to one another are as diverse as the individuals in the relationships. Over time, as we observe and acknowledge more configurations of human beings, this list will expand and overlap.

 

Terms That Describe Intimate Relationship Types and Dynamics

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Why does it matter?

Relationships are a big part of life.

Terms That Describe Intimate Relationship Types and Dynamics – Whether it’s family or friends, acquaintances or lovers, folks online or IRL, or anything and everything in between, it can be challenging to find the right words to discuss different relationship roles and dynamics.

Terms A to C

Accepting

In the context of relationships, accepting refers to the act of learning to embrace your partner(s) for who they are — including their traits, behaviors, and needs — at the present moment and as they shift over time.

The process of genuinely accepting your partner involves reflecting on your potential tendency to change, judge, or become easily irritated by aspects of who they are or how they behave.

Active/passive

Active and passive describes a power dynamic frequently observed between partners in relationships and families.

An active/passive dynamic can appear in many areas of the relationship. For example:

  • household chores
  • initiating foreplay or sex
  • having difficult conversations
  • taking on financial responsibilities
  • prioritizing health and well-being

Typically, the person who takes the initiative or makes a decision in the situation is considered the active person.

The person who remains unresponsive, disengaged, apathetic, or overpowered (physically or emotionally) is the passive person.

Allosexual

This word and category describe those who experience sexual attraction.

Use of this term helps normalize the experience of being asexual and provides a more specific label to describe those who aren’t part of the asexual community.

Asexual

Asexual identity or orientation includes individuals who experience little or no sexual attraction to others of any gender.

Asexual can also refer to the spectrum of asexuality that includes a number of other sexual and romantic identities that describe those who experience little sexual attraction or none at all.

Balanced

A balanced relationship is one where there are equal and healthy amounts of giving and taking.

Considering the amount of affection, energy, love, and support you give and receive in a relationship is a good way to assess which areas feel balanced, and which areas could use more attention or intention.

What balance looks like in each relationship may be different, and is dependent upon each person involved feeling valued, respected, and getting their needs met.

Basically or close friends

These terms describe a platonic bond that most often exists between two friends that have a great deal of love, care, and nonromantic affection for one another.

These types of relationships can often resemble sexual or romantic relationships in terms of time spent, care, and commitment, but often don’t include the sexual or romantic elements.

Platonic relationships between close friends frequently involve flirtation, admiration, and commitment, but don’t indicate anything about any party’s sexual or romantic attraction or preferences.

Casual

This describes a type of relationship that is not yet defined or labeled and often requires less commitment than relationships that are formal, or not casual.

Given the somewhat vague nature of the word, it’s hard to know exactly what someone means when they describe a relationship this way.

The meaning and expectations attached to casual relationships can vary greatly from person to person.

For example, some casual relationships are sexual, while others aren’t.

It’s important to speak with friends and partners about how you define a casual relationship to ensure you’re on the same page and can respect one another’s needs and boundaries.

Changing or working hard

These terms refer to the act of putting energy into shifting aspects of the relationship or individual involved in the relationship.

This “work” is often rooted in the desire for improvement or increased happiness in the relationship.

While changing or working hard in a relationship can be a sign of commitment, it can also be a sign of incompatibility or that one person is not getting their emotional or physical needs met.

Civil union

Also known as a civil partnership, civil union refers to the legally binding union between two parties.

This type of legally recognized partnership only provides state-level legal protections and privileges.

The terms associated with civil unions vary from state to state and don’t afford people the same federal protections and benefits as marriage does.

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Terms That Describe Intimate Relationship Types and Dynamics

Codependent

This is a relationship dynamic that lacks the emotional and physical boundaries that are necessary to have a healthy and respectful relationship long-term relationship.

Though the term codependent is sometimes used to describe people or personal traits, it more accurately captures behaviors, actions, or tendencies.

Codependency can take different forms, but some signs are:

  • taking on your partners’ issues
  • taking care of them, sometimes at the cost of not caring for yourself
  • losing touch with who you are as an independent person
  • lacking your own relationships
  • putting your partner’s needs before your own

Cohabitation

This refers to the act of living in the same household as someone you’re in a relationship with.

Partners can make the decision to cohabitate in any stage of a relationship, and for a variety of reasons that might be connected to:

  • the stage of the relationship
  • personal values
  • financial benefits
  • convenience
  • practicality

Different people attach different values and assumptions to taking the step to cohabitate, so it’s important to speak openly about what this step means in the context of your relationship(s).

Committed

This describes a relationship that includes intention and accountability, with regard to:

  • time spent
  • level of prioritization
  • desire to work through conflict
  • openness to a future or long-term engagement
  • dedication to meeting one another’s needs

Courtship

This term describes the period of time before two people formally engage in a relationship that involves a long-term commitment to a future together.

The values and intentions ascribed to a given courtship can change from person to person, culture to culture, and relationship to relationship.

Terms D to K

Dating

This is the act of participating in a shared activity with the intention of spending time with or getting to know someone.

Dating, or going on a date, is often a first step in exploring a platonic, romantic, or sexual interest or attraction to someone.

The expectations associated with dating can change from person to person and culture to culture.

Speaking about what dating means to you can help foster communication, honesty, and trust in the early stages of getting to know someone you’re platonically, romantically, or sexually interested in or attracted to.

Disconnected

In the context of a relationship, disconnected refers to distant feelings or a lack of emotional connection.

Emotional disconnection is often a result of one or more of the following:

  • not getting your needs met
  • looking for someone outside the relationship to meet those needs
  • lack of communication
  • incompatibility

Dominating

Dominating, or dominant, can be used to describe traits associated with a person or a relationship dynamic.

Often viewed in opposition to “submissive,” dominating refers to the act of asserting physical, sexual, emotional, financial, or psychological control in a relationship, situation, or particular interaction.

When a person or relationship dynamic has dominating qualities, it can cause a temporary or ongoing power imbalance in a relationship.

For some, this shift in power is a positive thing and contributes to aspects of compatibility and attraction.

For others, this shift can be experienced as threatening, disrespectful, or nonconsensual.

Discussing your observations about dominance and dominating traits in a relationship can help you and your partners approach power dynamics with honesty and intention, while also providing you with a deeper understanding of the role this power dynamic plays in your relationship.

Domestic partnership

This describes a type of relationship that involves two people who are cohabitating and in a relationship with one another but aren’t legally married.

Although domestic partnership is a legal status, it doesn’t provide the same benefits, rights, or privileges as civil unions or marriages.

Engagement

This refers to the period of time in a relationship before a formal, legal, or ceremonial commitment, but after the parties involved agree to this future commitment.

Some people associate engagement with a proposal from one person to another or giving the gift of a ring, while others may not attach a particular action, item, or tradition to entering this stage of a relationship.

Friends with benefits

This term describes a relationship that includes elements of friendship, with the addition of another relationship dynamic, often romantic or sexual attraction.

The particular benefits that come in addition to friendship is determined by each person involved and can vary from relationship to relationship.

Some people use the term to communicate their desire to keep things casual or have the opportunity to see other people.

Others use this term to indicate that they want the relationship to resemble that of a friendship but have the benefit of sex or physical intimacy.

How to Have a Better Relationship

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Salvabrani.com – Can you spot a good relationship? Of course nobody knows what really goes on between any couple, but decades of scientific research into love, sex and relationships have taught us that a number of behaviors can predict when a couple is on solid ground or headed for troubled waters. Good relationships don’t happen overnight. They take commitment, compromise, forgiveness and most of all — effort. Keep reading for the latest in relationship science, fun quizzes and helpful tips to help you build a stronger bond with your partner.

Love and Romance

Falling in love is the easy part. The challenge for couples is how to rekindle the fires of romance from time to time and cultivate the mature, trusting love that is the hallmark of a lasting relationship.

What’s Your Love Style?
When you say “I love you,” what do you mean?

Terry Hatkoff, a California State University sociologist, has created a love scale that identifies six distinct types of love found in our closest relationships.

Romantic: Based on passion and sexual attraction
Best Friends: Fondness and deep affection
Logical: Practical feelings based on shared values, financial goals, religion etc.
Playful: Feelings evoked by flirtation or feeling challenged
Possessive: Jealousy and obsession
Unselfish: Nurturing, kindness, and sacrifice
Researchers have found that the love we feel in our most committed relationships is typically a combination of two or three different forms of love. But often, two people in the same relationship can have very different versions of how they define love. Dr. Hatkoff gives the example of a man and woman having dinner. The waiter flirts with the woman, but the husband doesn’t seem to notice, and talks about changing the oil in her car. The wife is upset her husband isn’t jealous. The husband feels his extra work isn’t appreciated.

What does this have to do with love? The man and woman each define love differently. For him, love is practical, and is best shown by supportive gestures like car maintenance. For her, love is possessive, and a jealous response by her husband makes her feel valued.

How to Have a Better Relationship

Understanding what makes your partner feel loved can help you navigate conflict and put romance back into your relationship. You and your partner can take the Love Style quiz from Dr. Hatkoff and find out how each of you defines love. If you learn your partner tends toward jealousy, make sure you notice when someone is flirting with him or her. If your partner is practical in love, notice the many small ways he or she shows love by taking care of everyday needs.

Reignite Romance

Romantic love has been called a “natural addiction” because it activates the brain’s reward center — notably the dopamine pathways associated with drug addiction, alcohol and gambling. But those same pathways are also associated with novelty, energy, focus, learning, motivation, ecstasy and craving. No wonder we feel so energized and motivated when we fall in love!

But we all know that romantic, passionate love fades a bit over time, and (we hope) matures into a more contented form of committed love. Even so, many couples long to rekindle the sparks of early courtship. But is it possible?

The relationship researcher Arthur Aron, a psychology professor who directs the Interpersonal Relationships Laboratory at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, has found a way. The secret? Do something new and different — and make sure you do it together. New experiences activate the brain’s reward system, flooding it with dopamine and norepinephrine. These are the same brain circuits that are ignited in early romantic love. Whether you take a pottery class or go on a white-water rafting trip, activating your dopamine systems while you are together can help bring back the excitement you felt on your first date. In studies of couples, Dr. Aron has found that partners who regularly share new experiences report greater boosts in marital happiness than those who simply share pleasant but familiar experiences.

Diagnose Your Passion Level

The psychology professor Elaine Hatfield has suggested that the love we feel early in a relationship is different than what we feel later. Early on, love is “passionate,” meaning we have feelings of intense longing for our mate. Longer-term relationships develop “companionate love,” which can be described as a deep affection, and strong feelings of commitment and intimacy.

Where does your relationship land on the spectrum of love? The Passionate Love Scale, developed by Dr. Hatfield, of the University of Hawaii, and Susan Sprecher, a psychology and sociology professor at Illinois State University, can help you gauge the passion level of your relationship. Once you see where you stand, you can start working on injecting more passion into your partnership. Note that while the scale is widely used by relationship researchers who study love, the quiz is by no means the final word on the health of your relationship. Take it for fun and let the questions inspire you to talk to your partner about passion. After all, you never know where the conversation might lead.