7 Tips for Building Healthy Family Relationships

7 Tips for Building Healthy Family Relationships – Do you feel like your family relationships aren’t as strong as they could be? The family unit is one of the most important parts of society. From your earliest years, your family relationships laid the foundation for your personality development, health, education, and career advancement – they molded you into who you are today. 

However, as people grow and move to other parts of the world or as children grow and start attending school and parents work for long hours each day, and grandparents are upcountry, it can be difficult to maintain healthy family relationships.

The good news is that there are many things you can do to improve your family relationships, whether with your parents, siblings, or children. No matter how large or small your family is, the tips in this article can help you get started on the right foot.

What is a Family?

A family is a group of people who are related by blood, marriage, or adoption. 

Families come in all shapes and sizes, and no one definition fits everyone.

Some families are large, with many members living together in one place. Other families are small, with only a few members sharing an address. 

Families can be made up of parents, children, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and even pets!

Every family is unique, and that’s what makes them so special. Each one has its own strengths and weaknesses, but together they make up the biggest force in our lives. We owe it to our families to give them the love and support they need to thrive.

Tips for Building Healthy Family Relationships

Building healthy family relationships is key to living a happy and fulfilling life. Here are some tips for building strong relationships with your loved ones:

1. Communicate

Communication is a key ingredient in building healthy family relationships, as it can help build trust and understanding. 

When family members can communicate effectively with one another, their relationship tends to be stronger.

One way communication can help build healthier family relationships is by reducing conflict. When members voice their concerns and disagreements constructively, they tend to resolve issues more quickly. 

Additionally, open communication allows family members to share their feelings without feeling judged or criticized. This allows everyone involved to feel heard and valued.

Families that have strong communication skills also tend to resolve conflicts more effectively. They are able to identify compromises and solutions that everyone can agree on. 

This helps prevent tensions from escalating out of control and damaging the overall relationship.

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Communication can also be beneficial when developing trust within the family unit. When families share confidences candidly, they develop a sense of trustworthiness towards each other. This promotes a sense of cooperation and teamwork within the home.

2. Spend time together

Spending time together can help foster a sense of closeness and communication, which can be key to maintaining positive relationships. There are many ways to spend time with your family, so find the activities that work best for you and your loved ones. 

Here are some ideas:

  • Play a game together. Take turns picking a card and telling a story based on the contents of the card. Or play charades or Guess Who?
  • Watch a movie together. Swap stories after finishing the film, or debate whose favorite scene was (or wasn’t).
  • Go for a walk or run together. If exercise is important to you and your loved ones, finding ways to spend time outdoors together can be a great way to get moving and have fun at the same time!
  • Cook dinner together. Set the table, mix ingredients, and let each person take turns cooking while discussing what they’re cooking, talking about their day, or just enjoying each other’s company.

3. Appreciate each other’s differences

Different people have different strengths and weaknesses, which can often be challenging to balance in a relationship. 

It’s important not to try to force someone into being someone they’re not or try to change them to fit into our idealized version of what you think a good family member should be.

 Instead, we should encourage our loved ones to use their special gifts and personalities in ways that benefit everyone involved.

4. Respect each other

Respecting one another is the cornerstone of a healthy family relationship. This means listening to each other and not taking things personally, even when disagreements arise. It also means communicating honestly and respectfully.

For example, instead of speaking over or down to your partner, try to pause and really hear what they are saying. This will help you understand their perspective better and may lead to productive discussion.

When families respect one another, it can create a sense of harmony and stability that is crucial for a happy and healthy home. Furthermore, showing respect for each other can help children learn to do the same. When parents model good behavior, children are more likely to emulate it.

5. Set boundaries

Boundaries set expectations for behavior and communicate what is and is not acceptable in the relationship. 

This can help protect both people in the relationship from feeling overwhelmed or unfairly judged and manage conflicts without turning into power struggles.

One thing, though, don’t change your mind once you’ve set a boundary; stick to it even if it feels like a hardship at first. Breaking a boundary often results in resentment down the line, so make sure you don’t put yourself in that position by being consistent from the beginning.

6. Apologize when wrong

When you make a mistake, it is important to apologize to your loved ones as soon as possible to repair any damage that you may have done.

Also, ensure that your apology is genuine. Do not sugarcoat your words to make things seem less bad for yourself or the other person involved. 

Make it clear that you are sorry and take any steps necessary to rectify the situation. This will put your partner at ease and show them that you are serious about correcting this mistake as quickly as possible.

7. Learn to forgive

Forgiving someone can be difficult, but it is one of the most important things you can do for your relationship. Here are four ways that forgiving can benefit your family:

  • It allows you to let go of the past and move on
  • It creates space in the relationship for new and healthier communication
  • It reduces resentment and builds trust between family members
  • It creates a foundation for future positive relationships

Terms That Describe Intimate Relationship Types and Dynamics

Why does it matter?

Relationships are a big part of life.

Terms That Describe Intimate Relationship Types and Dynamics – Whether it’s family or friends, acquaintances or lovers, folks online or IRL, or anything and everything in between, it can be challenging to find the right words to discuss different relationship roles and dynamics.

Terms A to C

Accepting

In the context of relationships, accepting refers to the act of learning to embrace your partner(s) for who they are — including their traits, behaviors, and needs — at the present moment and as they shift over time.

The process of genuinely accepting your partner involves reflecting on your potential tendency to change, judge, or become easily irritated by aspects of who they are or how they behave.

Active/passive

Active and passive describes a power dynamic frequently observed between partners in relationships and families.

An active/passive dynamic can appear in many areas of the relationship. For example:

  • household chores
  • initiating foreplay or sex
  • having difficult conversations
  • taking on financial responsibilities
  • prioritizing health and well-being

Typically, the person who takes the initiative or makes a decision in the situation is considered the active person.

The person who remains unresponsive, disengaged, apathetic, or overpowered (physically or emotionally) is the passive person.

Allosexual

This word and category describe those who experience sexual attraction.

Use of this term helps normalize the experience of being asexual and provides a more specific label to describe those who aren’t part of the asexual community.

Asexual

Asexual identity or orientation includes individuals who experience little or no sexual attraction to others of any gender.

Asexual can also refer to the spectrum of asexuality that includes a number of other sexual and romantic identities that describe those who experience little sexual attraction or none at all.

Balanced

A balanced relationship is one where there are equal and healthy amounts of giving and taking.

Considering the amount of affection, energy, love, and support you give and receive in a relationship is a good way to assess which areas feel balanced, and which areas could use more attention or intention.

What balance looks like in each relationship may be different, and is dependent upon each person involved feeling valued, respected, and getting their needs met.

Basically or close friends

These terms describe a platonic bond that most often exists between two friends that have a great deal of love, care, and nonromantic affection for one another.

These types of relationships can often resemble sexual or romantic relationships in terms of time spent, care, and commitment, but often don’t include the sexual or romantic elements.

Platonic relationships between close friends frequently involve flirtation, admiration, and commitment, but don’t indicate anything about any party’s sexual or romantic attraction or preferences.

Casual

This describes a type of relationship that is not yet defined or labeled and often requires less commitment than relationships that are formal, or not casual.

Given the somewhat vague nature of the word, it’s hard to know exactly what someone means when they describe a relationship this way.

The meaning and expectations attached to casual relationships can vary greatly from person to person.

For example, some casual relationships are sexual, while others aren’t.

It’s important to speak with friends and partners about how you define a casual relationship to ensure you’re on the same page and can respect one another’s needs and boundaries.

Changing or working hard

These terms refer to the act of putting energy into shifting aspects of the relationship or individual involved in the relationship.

This “work” is often rooted in the desire for improvement or increased happiness in the relationship.

While changing or working hard in a relationship can be a sign of commitment, it can also be a sign of incompatibility or that one person is not getting their emotional or physical needs met.

Civil union

Also known as a civil partnership, civil union refers to the legally binding union between two parties.

This type of legally recognized partnership only provides state-level legal protections and privileges.

The terms associated with civil unions vary from state to state and don’t afford people the same federal protections and benefits as marriage does.

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Terms That Describe Intimate Relationship Types and Dynamics

Codependent

This is a relationship dynamic that lacks the emotional and physical boundaries that are necessary to have a healthy and respectful relationship long-term relationship.

Though the term codependent is sometimes used to describe people or personal traits, it more accurately captures behaviors, actions, or tendencies.

Codependency can take different forms, but some signs are:

  • taking on your partners’ issues
  • taking care of them, sometimes at the cost of not caring for yourself
  • losing touch with who you are as an independent person
  • lacking your own relationships
  • putting your partner’s needs before your own

Cohabitation

This refers to the act of living in the same household as someone you’re in a relationship with.

Partners can make the decision to cohabitate in any stage of a relationship, and for a variety of reasons that might be connected to:

  • the stage of the relationship
  • personal values
  • financial benefits
  • convenience
  • practicality

Different people attach different values and assumptions to taking the step to cohabitate, so it’s important to speak openly about what this step means in the context of your relationship(s).

Committed

This describes a relationship that includes intention and accountability, with regard to:

  • time spent
  • level of prioritization
  • desire to work through conflict
  • openness to a future or long-term engagement
  • dedication to meeting one another’s needs

Courtship

This term describes the period of time before two people formally engage in a relationship that involves a long-term commitment to a future together.

The values and intentions ascribed to a given courtship can change from person to person, culture to culture, and relationship to relationship.

Terms D to K

Dating

This is the act of participating in a shared activity with the intention of spending time with or getting to know someone.

Dating, or going on a date, is often a first step in exploring a platonic, romantic, or sexual interest or attraction to someone.

The expectations associated with dating can change from person to person and culture to culture.

Speaking about what dating means to you can help foster communication, honesty, and trust in the early stages of getting to know someone you’re platonically, romantically, or sexually interested in or attracted to.

Disconnected

In the context of a relationship, disconnected refers to distant feelings or a lack of emotional connection.

Emotional disconnection is often a result of one or more of the following:

  • not getting your needs met
  • looking for someone outside the relationship to meet those needs
  • lack of communication
  • incompatibility

Dominating

Dominating, or dominant, can be used to describe traits associated with a person or a relationship dynamic.

Often viewed in opposition to “submissive,” dominating refers to the act of asserting physical, sexual, emotional, financial, or psychological control in a relationship, situation, or particular interaction.

When a person or relationship dynamic has dominating qualities, it can cause a temporary or ongoing power imbalance in a relationship.

For some, this shift in power is a positive thing and contributes to aspects of compatibility and attraction.

For others, this shift can be experienced as threatening, disrespectful, or nonconsensual.

Discussing your observations about dominance and dominating traits in a relationship can help you and your partners approach power dynamics with honesty and intention, while also providing you with a deeper understanding of the role this power dynamic plays in your relationship.

Domestic partnership

This describes a type of relationship that involves two people who are cohabitating and in a relationship with one another but aren’t legally married.

Although domestic partnership is a legal status, it doesn’t provide the same benefits, rights, or privileges as civil unions or marriages.

Engagement

This refers to the period of time in a relationship before a formal, legal, or ceremonial commitment, but after the parties involved agree to this future commitment.

Some people associate engagement with a proposal from one person to another or giving the gift of a ring, while others may not attach a particular action, item, or tradition to entering this stage of a relationship.

Friends with benefits

This term describes a relationship that includes elements of friendship, with the addition of another relationship dynamic, often romantic or sexual attraction.

The particular benefits that come in addition to friendship is determined by each person involved and can vary from relationship to relationship.

Some people use the term to communicate their desire to keep things casual or have the opportunity to see other people.

Others use this term to indicate that they want the relationship to resemble that of a friendship but have the benefit of sex or physical intimacy.

Basic Types Of Romantic Relationships & How To Define Yours

Basic Types Of Romantic Relationships & How To Define Yours – People use the word “relationship” so much these days that it’s often assumed to have one universal definition. In reality, though, the word encompasses such a massive variety of kinds of human connections, both romantic and nonromantic, and it’s likely that no two people share the exact same understanding of what defines a relationship. So, here’s a cheat sheet of the basics.

What is a relationship?

A relationship is any kind of association or connection between people, whether intimate, platonic, positive, or negative. Typically when people talk about “being in a relationship,” the term is referencing a specific type of romantic relationship involving both emotional and physical intimacy, some level of ongoing commitment, and monogamy (i.e., romantic and sexual exclusivity, wherein members don’t have this type of relationship with anyone else). That said, romantic relationships can take many different forms, from marriage to casual dating to ethical nonmonogamy.

There are four basic types of relationships: family relationships, friendships, acquaintanceships, and romantic relationships. Other more nuanced types of relationships might include work relationships, teacher/student relationships, and community or group relationships. Some of these types of relationships can overlap and coincide with one another—for example, two people can be both work colleagues and close friends. There are also many variations within each category, such as codependent friendships, sexless marriages, or toxic family members.

Basic types of relationships:

  • Familial relationships, aka family members or relatives
  • Friendships
  • Acquaintances
  • Sexual relationships
  • Work or professional relationships
  • Teacher/student relationships
  • Community or group relationships
  • Place-based relationships, such as neighbors, roommates, and landlord/tenant relationships
  • Enemies or rivals
  • Relationship to self

Types of romantic relationships.

There are many different relationship labels people use to define their relationship to themselves and to others, but below are a few of the main basic types of romantic relationships:

1.

Dating

Dating is the process of intentionally spending time with someone to get to know them better, have fun together, and enjoy being romantic. Dating can sometimes be about seeing if there’s potential for a more long-term relationship, or it can just be about having fun without expectations for the future, which is sometimes called casual dating.

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Basic Types Of Romantic Relationships & How To Define Yours

Not everyone agrees on what level of commitment is implied when two people say they’re “dating.” Some people only use the term when there’s already a defined, committed relationship in place, whereas others use the term to mean they’re simply exploring to see if there’s relationship potential.

2.

Committed relationship

In the context of couples, the phrase “in a relationship” usually means being in a committed, long-term romantic relationship. A committed relationship is one where two or more people agree to continue being in a relationship for the foreseeable future. There’s an understanding that the two will continue to spend time together, work on growing their relationship with each other, and continue nurturing their connection. People in committed relationships may choose to use identifiers like boyfriendgirlfriend, or partner to signify their relationship to others.

In traditional monogamous relationships, being in a relationship also means that a couple will be romantically and sexually exclusive—that is, they won’t have any other romantic or sexual partners other than each other. In nonmonogamous relationships, exclusivity isn’t required.

Marriage is one form of committed relationship wherein a couple publicly vows to stay together and forms a legally binding union.

3.

Casual relationship

A casual relationship is a relationship where two or more people may be dating, regularly spending time together, and engaging in romantic or sexual activities—but without any expectations for the relationship to last into the future. These types of relationships are usually more situational and short-term, and they may or may not be exclusive.

People in casual relationships usually do like each other and are attracted to each other, though there may not be an intense emotional connection or desire to deepen the connection. Whereas people in committed relationships may see each other as life partners, people in casual relationships may not be as integrated into each other’s lives. They typically won’t use terms like boyfriendgirlfriend, or partner.

4.

Casual sex

A casual sex relationship is one where two or more people spend time together primarily to have sex with each other. They might see each other regularly for sex, or they may have sex once and never see each other again. They may like each other and enjoy each other’s company, but they’re not interested in a romantic relationship with each other. Usually, there’s no emotional connection, or the connection is distinctly platonic or friendly, as in a “friends with benefits” situation.

5.

Situationship

A situationship is a romantic relationship that hasn’t been explicitly defined, usually by omission. The relationship may have many of the same qualities as a committed relationship, a casual relationship, or dating, but the people involved have simply not put labels on it—usually intentionally, whether that’s to avoid making things too complicated, because they’re still figuring out what they want from each other, or because they’re too afraid to bring up the “DTR talk” (aka a conversation defining the relationship).

Generally speaking, situationships usually have more emotional involvement than a friends-with-benefits scenario but not the explicit romantic feelings and commitment of a committed relationship.

While relationships without labels work great for some people, situationships can often happen because the two people aren’t on the same page about what they want or because there’s an assumption that the relationship will be short-term enough for it not to matter.

6 Types of Relationships and Their Effect on Your Life

6 Types of Relationships and Their Effect on Your Life – Interpersonal relationships make up a huge and vital part of your life. These relationships can range from close and intimate to distant and challenging. No matter the nature of the relationship, different types of relationships help make up the social support network that is pivotal for both your physical and mental well-being.

To better understand and discuss these relationships accurately, it can be helpful to learn more about the different types of relationships that a person can have.

What Is a Relationship?

A relationship is any connection between two people, which can be either positive or negative.

You can have a relationship with a wide range of people, including family and friends. The phrase “being in a relationship,” while often linked with romantic relationships, can refer to various associations one person has with another.

To “be in a relationship” doesn’t always mean there is physical intimacy, emotional attachment, and/or commitment involved. People engage in many different types of relationships that have unique characteristics.

Basic Types of Relationships

Relationships typically fall into one of several different categories (although these can sometimes overlap):

  • Family relationships
  • Friendships
  • Acquaintances
  • Romantic relationships
  • Sexual relationships
  • Work relationships
  • Situational relationships (sometimes called “situationships”)

These different forms of relationships can vary greatly in terms of closeness, and there are also different subtypes of relationships within each of these basic types. Some of the different kinds of relationships that you might experience at some point in your life include the following.

While there are many different types of relationships, the four main types are typically identified as family relationships, romantic relationships, friendships, and acquaintanceships.

Platonic Relationships

A platonic relationship is a type of friendship that involves a close, intimate bond without sex or romance. These relationships tend to be characterized by:

  • Closeness
  • Fondness
  • Understanding
  • Respect
  • Care
  • Support
  • Honesty
  • Acceptance

Platonic relationships can occur in a wide range of settings and can involve same-sex or opposite-sex friendships. You might form a platonic relationship with a classmate or co-worker, or you might make a connection with a person in another setting such as a club, athletic activity, or volunteer organization you are involved in.

This type of relationship can play an essential role in providing social support, which is essential for your health and well-being. Research suggests that platonic friendships can help reduce your risk for disease, lower your risk for depression or anxiety, and boost your immunity.1

Platonic relationships are those that involve closeness and friendship without sex. Sometimes platonic relationships can change over time and shift into a romantic or sexual relationship.

Romantic Relationships

Romantic relationships are those characterized by feelings of love and attraction for another person. While romantic love can vary, it often involves feelings of infatuation, intimacy, and commitment.

Experts have come up with a variety of different ways to describe how people experience and express love. For example, psychologist Robert Sternberg suggests three main components of love: passion, intimacy, and decision/commitment. Romantic love, he explains, is a combination of passion and intimacy.2

Romantic relationships tend to change over time. At the start of a relationship, people typically experience stronger feelings of passion. During this initial infatuation period, the brain releases specific neurotransmitters (dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin) that cause people to feel euphoric and “in love.”

Over time, these feelings start to lessen in their intensity. As the relationship matures, people develop deeper levels of emotional intimacy and understanding.

Romantic relationships often burn hot at the beginning. While the initial feelings of passion usually lessen in strength over time, feelings of trust, emotional intimacy, and commitment grow stronger.

Codependent Relationships

A codependent relationship is an imbalanced, dysfunctional type of relationship in which a partner has an emotional, physical, or mental reliance on the other person.

It is also common for both partners to be mutually co-dependent on each other. Both may take turns enacting the caretaker role, alternating between the caretaker and the receiver of care.

Characteristics of a codependent relationship include:

  • Acting as a giver while the other person acts as a taker
  • Going to great lengths to avoid conflict with the other person
  • Feeling like you have to ask permission to do things
  • Having to save or rescue the other person from their own actions
  • Doing things to make someone happy, even if they make you uncomfortable
  • Feeling like you don’t know who you are in the relationship
  • Elevating the other person even if they’ve done nothing to earn your goodwill and admiration

Not all codependent relationships are the same, however. They can vary in terms of severity. Codependency can impact all different types of relationships including relationships between romantic partners, parents and children, friendship, other family members, and even coworkers.

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6 Types of Relationships and Their Effect on Your Life

Codependent relationships are co-constructed. While one partner might seem more “needy,” the other partner might feel more comfortable being needed.

Someone who feels more comfortable being needed, for instance, may avoid focusing on their own needs by choosing a partner who constantly needs them.

Casual Relationships

Casual relationships often involve dating relationships that may include sex without expectations of monogamy or commitment. However, experts suggest that the term is vague and can mean different things to different people.

According to the authors of one study published in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, casual relationships can encompass situations such as:3

  • One-night stands
  • Booty calls
  • “Sex” buddies
  • Friends with benefits

Such relationships often exist on a continuum that varies in the levels of frequency of contact, type of contact, amount of personal disclosure, discussion of the relationship, and degree of friendship. The study found that people with more sexual experience were better able to identify the definitions of these labels compared to people with less sexual experience.

Casual relationships are often common among young adults. As long as casual relationships are marked by communication and consent, they can have several sex-positive benefits. They can satisfy the need for sex, intimacy, connection, and companionship without the emotional demand and energy commitment of a more serious relationship.4

Casual relationships tend to be more common among younger adults, but people of any age can engage in this type of relationship. Consent and communication are key.

Open Relationships

An open relationship is a type of consensually non-monogamous relationship in which one or more partners have sex or relationships with other people. Both people agree to have sex with other people in an open relationship but may have certain conditions or limitations.

Open relationships can take place in any type of romantic relationship, whether casual, dating, or married.

There tends to be a stigma surrounding non-monogamous relationships. Still, research suggests that around 21% to 22% of adults will be involved in some type of open relationship at some point in their life.5

The likelihood of engaging in an open relationship also depends on gender and sexual orientation. Men reported having higher numbers of open relationships compared to women; people who identify as gay, lesbian, and bisexual relative to those who identify as heterosexual were more likely to report previous engagement in open relationships.

Such relationships can have benefits, including increased sexual freedom and pitfalls such as jealousy and emotional pain. Open relationships are more successful when couples establish personal, emotional, and sexual boundaries and clearly communicate their feelings and needs with one another.

Open relationships are a form of consensual non-monogamy. While there is a primary emotional and often physical connection between the two people in the relationship, they mutually agree to intimacy with other people outside of the relationship.

Toxic Relationships

A toxic relationship is any type of interpersonal relationship where your emotional, physical, or psychological well-being is undermined or threatened in some way. Such relationships often leave you feeling ashamed, humiliated, misunderstood, or unsupported.

Any type of relationship can be toxic including friendships, family relationships, romantic relationships, or workplace relationships.

Toxic relationships are characterized by:

  • A lack of support
  • Blaming
  • Competitiveness
  • Controlling behaviors
  • Disrespect
  • Dishonesty
  • Gaslighting
  • Hostility
  • Jealousy
  • Passive-aggressive behaviors
  • Poor communication
  • Stress

Sometimes all people in a relationship play a role in creating this toxicity. For example, you may be contributing to toxicity if you are all consistently unkind, critical, insecure, and negative.

In other cases, one person in a relationship may behave in ways that create toxic feelings. This may be intentional, but in other cases, people may not fully understand how they are affecting other people. Because of their past experiences with relationships, often in their home growing up, they may not know any other way of acting and communicating.

This doesn’t just create discontentment—toxic relationships can take a serious toll on your health. For example, according to one study, stress caused by negative relationships has a direct impact on cardiovascular health.6 Feeling isolated and misunderstood in a relationship can also lead to loneliness, which has been shown to have detrimental effects on both physical and mental health.

Toxic relationships can be stressful, harmful, and even abusive. If you are in a toxic relationship with someone in your life, work on creating strong boundaries to protect yourself. Talk to a mental health professional or consider terminating the relationship if it is causing you harm.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained advocates.

For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.

Defining Your Relationship

How you define your relationship depends on various factors, including what matters to you and how the other person feels. To define your relationship, it can be helpful to ask a few questions:

  • Do you have romantic feelings for one another?
  • What does each person hope to get out of the relationship?
  • How much time do you want to spend together?
  • Where do you see the relationship going?
  • Are you currently involved with or want to be involved with other people?

Figuring out what matters to you and your partner is an important step in defining the type of relationship you are interested in having. You might find that you are both on the same page or discover that you want different things out of your relationship.

Defining your relationship doesn’t have to mean committing for the long-term. Instead, it can be a way to help you both better understand the boundaries and expectations of your relationship.

How to Keep Your Relationship Healthy

Regardless of how you define your relationship, there are important steps you can take to ensure that your connection is healthy. Strategies that can help include:

  • Showing appreciation and gratitude
  • Communicating openly and honestly
  • Being affectionate and showing that you care
  • Mutual respect
  • Actively listening
  • Showing interest in each other
  • Being supportive and encouraging
  • Feeling empathy for each other
  • Spending time together
  • Having healthy boundaries
  • Being trustworthy

Communication is often the single most important thing in a relationship.7 Good relationships are also marked by honesty, trust, and reciprocity. This doesn’t mean that the relationship is purely transactional; it indicates that you naturally engage in a give and take that provides mutually beneficial support.

A Word From Verywell

No matter what type of relationship you have with another person(s), it is important for it to be a healthy one. Healthy relationships are characterized by trust, mutual respect, openness, honesty, and affection. Good communication is also a hallmark of a healthy relationship.

There are steps that you can take to improve your relationships with other people. Making sure you let others know you care and showing your appreciation are two strategies that can be helpful.

But if a relationship is causing stress or shows signs of being toxic, look for ways to establish clear boundaries, talk to a therapist, or even consider ending the relationship if it is too unhealthy.

Social relationships are important and they come in all different types. Having a variety of relationships with different people can ensure that you have the support and connections you need for your emotional health and well-being.

Meaningful Relationship Quotes That’ll Give You All the Feels

Meaningful Relationship Quotes That’ll Give You All the Feels – Throughout your life, relationships will come and go. There will be life-changing romances and meaningful friendships that last a lifetime. Of course, there will also be toxic situations, painful breakups, and grief after you fall out of touch with a friend. These relationships teach you more about yourself and about powerful, sometimes elusive, love. Relationship quotes can help you navigate these complex emotions and put into words how much a person means to you, whether you are dating someone new, looking for a sweet love message to celebrate a milestone anniversary, or searching for a way to tell a close friend, “I miss you.”

No one said relationships are easy. You may feel nervous energy around a new person you have big feelings for. Your relationship may have just become long-distance and you are struggling to find ways to tell your significant other that you are thinking of them. Or maybe you are looking for the perfect Valentine’s Day quote that encapsulates all you and your partner have been through and learned throughout the years (or even decades). That’s where the best relationships quotes come in, to help you say the things you want to say but don’t have the words for, as well as express your love in new and profound ways.

These relationship quotes are words to turn back to when you meet a new flame or are looking for sage advice about love. Let the words of poets, authors, philosophers, and actors help you feel seen, heard, comforted, and, most importantly, less alone.

Strong Relationship Quotes

  1. “When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” — Paulo Coelho
  2. “We loved with a love that was more than love.” — Edgar Allen Poe
  3. “You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won’t mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever.” — C. JoyBell C.
  4. “A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself — to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.” — Leo F. Buscaglia
  5. “Love that stammers, that stutters, is apt to be the love that loves best.” — Gabriela Mistral
  6. “I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.” — Pablo Neruda
  7. “We cannot really love anyone with whom we never laugh.” — Agnes Repplier
  8. “It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is.” — Hermann Hesse
  9. “Be honest, brutally honest. That is what’s going to maintain relationships.” — Lauryn Hill
  10. “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” — Lao Tzu
  11. “There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion, or company than a good marriage.” — Martin Luther
  12. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” — Henny Youngman
  13. “I love you, and I will love you until I die, and if there’s a life after that, I’ll love you then.” — Cassandra Clare

Meaningful Relationship Quotes That'll Give You All the Feels

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Meaningful Relationship Quotes

  1. “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” — Maya Angelou
  2. “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” — Carl Gustav Jung
  3. “The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.” — Ernest Hemingway
  4. “To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow — this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.” — Elizabeth Gilbert
  5. “To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect.” — Criss Jami
  6. “I have learned not to worry about love; but to honor its coming with all my heart.” — Alice Walker
  7. “The love expressed between women is particular and powerful because we have had to love in order to live; love has been our survival.” — Audre Lorde
  8. “Perhaps we are in this world to search for love, find it and lose it, again and again. With each love, we are born anew, and with each love that ends, we collect a new wound. I am covered with proud scars.” — Isabel Allende
  9. “Love is the absence of judgment.” — The 14th Dalai Lama
  10. “You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you.” — Bob Marley
  11. “Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” — Bob Marley
  12. “I don’t need anyone to rectify my existence. The most profound relationship we will ever have is the one with ourselves.” — Shirley MacLaine
  13. “Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better.” — William Shakespeare
  14. “We can improve our relationships with others by leaps and bounds if we become encouragers instead of critics.” — Joyce Meyer
  15. “Learn to be quiet enough to hear the genuine in yourself, so that you can hear it in others.”— Marian Wright Edelman
  16. “Don’t wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any Happiness you get you’ve got to make yourself.”— Alice Walker
  17. “Once we recognize what it is we are feeling, once we recognize we can feel deeply, love deeply, can feel joy, then we will demand that all parts of our lives produce that kind of joy.”— Audre Lorde
  18. “Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” — Oprah Winfrey
  19. “You’ve got to learn to leave the table when love’s no longer being served.” — Nina Simone
  20. “Love is an endless act of forgiveness. Forgiveness is me giving up the right to hurt you for hurting me.“ — Beyoncé
  21. “When you take care of yourself, you’re a better person for others. When you feel good about yourself, you treat others better.” — Solange
  22. “Fall in love with someone who makes you glad to be different.” — Sue Zhao
  23. “There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” — Bryant H. McGill
  24. “Treasure your relationships, not your possessions.” — Anthony J. D’Angelo
  25. “The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.”
  26. “People should fall in love with their eyes closed.” — Andy Warhol
  27. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.” — Natalie Cole
  28. “You don’t love someone because they’re perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they’re not.” — Jodi Picoult
  29. “The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.” — Victor Hugo
  30. “The only thing we never get enough of is love; and the only thing we never give enough of is love.” — Henry Miller
  31. “I have decided to stick to love; hate is too great a burden to bear.” — Martin Luther King, Jr.
  32. “The giving of love is an education in itself.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

How to Have a Better Relationship

Salvabrani.com – Can you spot a good relationship? Of course nobody knows what really goes on between any couple, but decades of scientific research into love, sex and relationships have taught us that a number of behaviors can predict when a couple is on solid ground or headed for troubled waters. Good relationships don’t happen overnight. They take commitment, compromise, forgiveness and most of all — effort. Keep reading for the latest in relationship science, fun quizzes and helpful tips to help you build a stronger bond with your partner.

Love and Romance

Falling in love is the easy part. The challenge for couples is how to rekindle the fires of romance from time to time and cultivate the mature, trusting love that is the hallmark of a lasting relationship.

What’s Your Love Style?
When you say “I love you,” what do you mean?

Terry Hatkoff, a California State University sociologist, has created a love scale that identifies six distinct types of love found in our closest relationships.

Romantic: Based on passion and sexual attraction
Best Friends: Fondness and deep affection
Logical: Practical feelings based on shared values, financial goals, religion etc.
Playful: Feelings evoked by flirtation or feeling challenged
Possessive: Jealousy and obsession
Unselfish: Nurturing, kindness, and sacrifice
Researchers have found that the love we feel in our most committed relationships is typically a combination of two or three different forms of love. But often, two people in the same relationship can have very different versions of how they define love. Dr. Hatkoff gives the example of a man and woman having dinner. The waiter flirts with the woman, but the husband doesn’t seem to notice, and talks about changing the oil in her car. The wife is upset her husband isn’t jealous. The husband feels his extra work isn’t appreciated.

What does this have to do with love? The man and woman each define love differently. For him, love is practical, and is best shown by supportive gestures like car maintenance. For her, love is possessive, and a jealous response by her husband makes her feel valued.

How to Have a Better Relationship

Understanding what makes your partner feel loved can help you navigate conflict and put romance back into your relationship. You and your partner can take the Love Style quiz from Dr. Hatkoff and find out how each of you defines love. If you learn your partner tends toward jealousy, make sure you notice when someone is flirting with him or her. If your partner is practical in love, notice the many small ways he or she shows love by taking care of everyday needs.

Reignite Romance

Romantic love has been called a “natural addiction” because it activates the brain’s reward center — notably the dopamine pathways associated with drug addiction, alcohol and gambling. But those same pathways are also associated with novelty, energy, focus, learning, motivation, ecstasy and craving. No wonder we feel so energized and motivated when we fall in love!

But we all know that romantic, passionate love fades a bit over time, and (we hope) matures into a more contented form of committed love. Even so, many couples long to rekindle the sparks of early courtship. But is it possible?

The relationship researcher Arthur Aron, a psychology professor who directs the Interpersonal Relationships Laboratory at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, has found a way. The secret? Do something new and different — and make sure you do it together. New experiences activate the brain’s reward system, flooding it with dopamine and norepinephrine. These are the same brain circuits that are ignited in early romantic love. Whether you take a pottery class or go on a white-water rafting trip, activating your dopamine systems while you are together can help bring back the excitement you felt on your first date. In studies of couples, Dr. Aron has found that partners who regularly share new experiences report greater boosts in marital happiness than those who simply share pleasant but familiar experiences.

Diagnose Your Passion Level

The psychology professor Elaine Hatfield has suggested that the love we feel early in a relationship is different than what we feel later. Early on, love is “passionate,” meaning we have feelings of intense longing for our mate. Longer-term relationships develop “companionate love,” which can be described as a deep affection, and strong feelings of commitment and intimacy.

Where does your relationship land on the spectrum of love? The Passionate Love Scale, developed by Dr. Hatfield, of the University of Hawaii, and Susan Sprecher, a psychology and sociology professor at Illinois State University, can help you gauge the passion level of your relationship. Once you see where you stand, you can start working on injecting more passion into your partnership. Note that while the scale is widely used by relationship researchers who study love, the quiz is by no means the final word on the health of your relationship. Take it for fun and let the questions inspire you to talk to your partner about passion. After all, you never know where the conversation might lead.

Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship

Salvabrani.com – Whether you’re looking to keep a new romantic relationship strong or repair a relationship that’s on the rocks, these tips can help you feel loved and connected to your partner.

Building a healthy relationship

All romantic relationships go through ups and downs and they all take work, commitment, and a willingness to adapt and change with your partner. But whether your relationship is just starting out or you’ve been together for years, there are steps you can take to build a healthy relationship. Even if you’ve experienced a lot of failed relationships in the past or have struggled before to rekindle the fires of romance in your current relationship, you can find ways to stay connected, find fulfillment, and enjoy lasting happiness.

What makes a healthy relationship?

Every relationship is unique, and people come together for many different reasons. Part of what defines a healthy relationship is sharing a common goal for exactly what you want the relationship to be and where you want it to go. And that’s something you’ll only know by talking deeply and honestly with your partner.

However, there are also some characteristics that most healthy relationships have in common. Knowing these basic principles can help keep your relationship meaningful, fulfilling and exciting whatever goals you’re working towards or challenges you’re facing together.

You maintain a meaningful emotional connection with each other. You each make the other feel loved and emotionally fulfilled. There’s a difference between being loved and feeling loved. When you feel loved, it makes you feel accepted and valued by your partner, like someone truly gets you. Some relationships get stuck in peaceful coexistence, but without the partners truly relating to each other emotionally. While the union may seem stable on the surface, a lack of ongoing involvement and emotional connection serves only to add distance between two people.

You’re not afraid of (respectful) disagreement. Some couples talk things out quietly, while others may raise their voices and passionately disagree. The key in a strong relationship, though, is not to be fearful of conflict. You need to feel safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation, or insisting on being right.

You keep outside relationships and interests alive.Despite the claims of romantic fiction or movies, no one person can meet all of your needs. In fact, expecting too much from your partner can put unhealthy pressure on a relationship. To stimulate and enrich your romantic relationship, it’s important to sustain your own identity outside of the relationship, preserve connections with family and friends, and maintain your hobbies and interests.

You communicate openly and honestly. Good communication is a key part of any relationship. When both people know what they want from the relationship and feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and desires, it can increase trust and strengthen the bond between you.

Falling in love vs. staying in love

For most people, falling in love usually seems to just happen. It’s staying in love—or preserving that “falling in love” experience—that requires commitment and work. Given its rewards, though, it’s well worth the effort. A healthy, secure romantic relationship can serve as an ongoing source of support and happiness in your life, through good times and bad, strengthening all aspects of your wellbeing. By taking steps now to preserve or rekindle your falling in love experience, you can build a meaningful relationship that lasts—even for a lifetime.

Many couples focus on their relationship only when there are specific, unavoidable problems to overcome. Once the problems have been resolved they often switch their attention back to their careers, kids, or other interests. However, romantic relationships require ongoing attention and commitment for love to flourish. As long as the health of a romantic relationship remains important to you, it is going to require your attention and effort. And identifying and fixing a small problem in your relationship now can often help prevent it from growing into a much larger one down road.

The following tips can help you to preserve that falling in love experience and keep your romantic relationship healthy.

Tip 1: Spend quality time face to face

You fall in love looking at and listening to each other. If you continue to look and listen in the same attentive ways, you can sustain the falling in love experience over the long term. You probably have fond memories of when you were first dating your loved one. Everything seemed new and exciting, and you likely spent hours just chatting together or coming up with new, exciting things to try. However, as time goes by, the demands of work, family, other obligations, and the need we all have for time to ourselves can make it harder to find time together.

Many couples find that the face-to-face contact of their early dating days is gradually replaced by hurried texts, emails, and instant messages. While digital communication is great for some purposes, it doesn’t positively impact your brain and nervous system in the same way as face-to-face communication. Sending a text or a voice message to your partner saying “I love you” is great, but if you rarely look at them or have the time to sit down together, they’ll still feel you don’t understand or appreciate them. And you’ll become more distanced or disconnected as a couple. The emotional cues you both need to feel loved can only be conveyed in person, so no matter how busy life gets, it’s important to carve out time to spend together.

Commit to spending some quality time together on a regular basis. No matter how busy you are, take a few minutes each day to put aside your electronic devices, stop thinking about other things, and really focus on and connect with your partner.

Find something that you enjoy doing together, whether it is a shared hobby, dance class, daily walk, or sitting over a cup of coffee in the morning.

Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship

Try something new together. Doing new things together can be a fun way to connect and keep things interesting. It can be as simple as trying a new restaurant or going on a day trip to a place you’ve never been before.

Focus on having fun together. Couples are often more fun and playful in the early stages of a relationship. However, this playful attitude can sometimes be forgotten as life challenges start getting in the way or old resentments start building up. Keeping a sense of humor can actually help you get through tough times, reduce stress and work through issues more easily. Think about playful ways to surprise your partner, like bringing flowers home or unexpectedly booking a table at their favorite restaurant. Playing with pets or small children can also help you reconnect with your playful side.

Do things together that benefit others

One the most powerful ways of staying close and connected is to jointly focus on something you and your partner value outside of the relationship. Volunteering for a cause, project, or community work that has meaning for both of you can keep a relationship fresh and interesting. It can also expose you both to new people and ideas, offer the chance to tackle new challenges together, and provide fresh ways of interacting with each other.

As well as helping to relieve stress, anxiety, and depression, doing things to benefit others delivers immense pleasure. Human beings are hard-wired to help others. The more you help, the happier you’ll feel——as individuals and as a couple.

Tip 2: Stay connected through communication

Good communication is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. When you experience a positive emotional connection with your partner, you feel safe and happy. When people stop communicating well, they stop relating well, and times of change or stress can really bring out the disconnect. It may sound simplistic, but as long as you are communicating, you can usually work through whatever problems you’re facing.

Tell your partner what you need, don’t make them guess.
It’s not always easy to talk about what you need. For one, many of us don’t spend enough time thinking about what’s really important to us in a relationship. And even if you do know what you need, talking about it can make you feel vulnerable, embarrassed, or even ashamed. But look at it from your partner’s point of view. Providing comfort and understanding to someone you love is a pleasure, not a burden.

If you’ve known each other for a while, you may assume that your partner has a pretty good idea of what you are thinking and what you need. However, your partner is not a mind-reader. While your partner may have some idea, it is much healthier to express your needs directly to avoid any confusion.

Your partner may sense something, but it might not be what you need. What’s more, people change, and what you needed and wanted five years ago, for example, may be very different now. So instead of letting resentment, misunderstanding, or anger grow when your partner continually gets it wrong, get in the habit of telling them exactly what you need.

Take note of your partner’s nonverbal cues

So much of our communication is transmitted by what we don’t say. Nonverbal cues, which include eye contact, tone of voice, posture, and gestures such as leaning forward, crossing your arms, or touching someone’s hand, communicate much more than words.

When you can pick up on your partner’s nonverbal cues or “body language,” you’ll be able to tell how they really feel and be able to respond accordingly. For a relationship to work well, each person has to understand their own and their partner’s nonverbal cues. Your partner’s responses may be different from yours. For example, one person might find a hug after a stressful day a loving mode of communication—while another might just want to take a walk together or sit and chat.

It’s also important to make sure that what you say matches your body language. If you say “I’m fine,” but you clench your teeth and look away, then your body is clearly signaling you are anything but “fine.”

When you experience positive emotional cues from your partner, you feel loved and happy, and when you send positive emotional cues, your partner feels the same. When you stop taking an interest in your own or your partner’s emotions, you’ll damage the connection between you and your ability to communicate will suffer, especially during stressful times.

Be a good listener

While a great deal of emphasis in our society is put on talking, if you can learn to listen in a way that makes another person feel valued and understood, you can build a deeper, stronger connection between you.

There’s a big difference between listening in this way and simply hearing. When you really listen—when you’re engaged with what’s being said—you’ll hear the subtle intonations in your partner’s voice that tells you how they’re really feeling and the emotions they’re trying to communicate. Being a good listener doesn’t mean you have to agree with your partner or change your mind. But it will help you find common points of view that can help you to resolve conflict.

Manage stress

When you’re stressed or emotionally overwhelmed, you’re more likely to misread your romantic partner, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, or lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior. How often have you been stressed and flown off the handle at your loved one and said or done something you later regretted?

If you can learn to quickly manage stress and return to a calm state, you’ll not only avoid such regrets, but you’ll also help to avoid conflict and misunderstandings——and even help to calm your partner when tempers build.

Tip 3: Keep physical intimacy alive

Touch is a fundamental part of human existence. Studies on infants have shown the importance of regular, affectionate contact for brain development. And the benefits don’t end in childhood. Affectionate contact boosts the body’s levels of oxytocin, a hormone that influences bonding and attachment.

While sex is often a cornerstone of a committed relationship, it shouldn’t be the only method of physical intimacy. Frequent, affectionate touch—holding hands, hugging, kissing—is equally important.

Why Relationships Matter

Reviewed by Psychology Today Staff

Salvabrani.com – Love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. There are many kinds of love, but many people seek its expression in a romantic relationship with a compatible partner (or partners). For these individuals, romantic relationships comprise one of the most meaningful aspects of life, and are a source of deep fulfillment.

While need for human connection appears to be innate, the ability to form healthy, loving relationships is learned. Some evidence suggests that the ability to form a stable relationship starts to form in infancy, in a child’s earliest experiences with a caregiver who reliably meets the infant’s needs for food, care, warmth, protection, stimulation, and social contact. Such relationships are not destiny, but they are theorized to establish deeply ingrained patterns of relating to others. The end of a relationship, however, is often a source of great psychological anguish.

How to Build a Healthy Relationship

Maintaining a strong relationship requires constant care and communication, and certain traits have been shown to be especially important for fostering healthy relationships. Each individual should, for starters, feel confident that their partner is willing to devote time and attention to the other. They must both also be committed to accommodating their differences, even as those change over time.

In the 21st century, good relationships are generally marked by emotional and physical fairness, particularly in the distribution of chores necessary to maintain a household. Partners in strong relationships also feel grateful for one another, openly provide and receive affection, and engage in honest discussions about sex.

In good relationships, partners try to afford their partner the benefit of the doubt, which creates a sense of being on the same team. This feeling, maintained over the long term, can help couples overcome the challenges they will inevitably face together.

Why Relationships Matter

How to Find Love

Finding a partner with whom to share a life is a wonderful but frequently difficult process. Whether it’s conducted online or in-person, the search will likely push an individual into unfamiliar settings to encounter potential partners. To be successful, it is often necessary to go outside of one’s comfort zone.

Determining whether a particular person is suitable as a potential mate, and whether a connection reflects temporary infatuation or true love, can challenging, but research suggests that there are revealing clues in behavior.

One possibly counterintuitive indicator of a potential match is one’s sense of self. Someone who would make a good partner may push an individual to discover new activities or beliefs that expand their own self-concept. Another early signifier may be stress: Repeatedly interacting with someone whose impression matters deeply to us can fuel anxiety. Other positive indicators include being highly motivated to see the person and investing a significant amount of time, emotion, and energy into the budding relationship.

How Relationships Fail

Every relationship represents a leap of faith for at least one partner, and even in the happiest couples, the very traits that once attracted them to each other can eventually become annoyances that drive them apart. Acquiring the skills to make a connection last is hard work, and threats may spring up without notice. In short-term, casual relationships, neither partner may see a truly viable long-term future together, but often only one takes action, in some cases ghosting the other, walking out of their lives with no communication, not even a text.

For some couples, infidelity is both the first and last straw, but a surprising number of relationships survive betrayal, some only to have their connection upended by everyday threats such as a loss of interest in physical intimacy, or a waning of positive feeling in the wake of constant criticism, contempt, or defensiveness. Even staying together for decades is no guarantee that a couple will remain connected: The divorce rate for couples over 50 has doubled since 1990.

Some people can walk away from years of marriage and instantly feel unburdened. For others, the end of a relationship that lasted just a few dates can trigger emotional trauma that lingers for years. However a breakup plays out, it can be a major stressor with an effect on ego and self-esteem that cannot be ignored.

How to Have a Better Relationship

Salvabrani.com – Can you spot a good relationship? Of course nobody knows what really goes on between any couple, but decades of scientific research into love, sex and relationships have taught us that a number of behaviors can predict when a couple is on solid ground or headed for troubled waters. Good relationships don’t happen overnight. They take commitment, compromise, forgiveness and most of all — effort. Keep reading for the latest in relationship science, fun quizzes and helpful tips to help you build a stronger bond with your partner.

Love and Romance

Falling in love is the easy part. The challenge for couples is how to rekindle the fires of romance from time to time and cultivate the mature, trusting love that is the hallmark of a lasting relationship.

What’s Your Love Style?

When you say “I love you,” what do you mean?

Terry Hatkoff, a California State University sociologist, has created a love scale that identifies six distinct types of love found in our closest relationships.

Romantic: Based on passion and sexual attraction
Best Friends: Fondness and deep affection
Logical: Practical feelings based on shared values, financial goals, religion etc.
Playful: Feelings evoked by flirtation or feeling challenged
Possessive: Jealousy and obsession
Unselfish: Nurturing, kindness, and sacrifice
Researchers have found that the love we feel in our most committed relationships is typically a combination of two or three different forms of love. But often, two people in the same relationship can have very different versions of how they define love. Dr. Hatkoff gives the example of a man and woman having dinner. The waiter flirts with the woman, but the husband doesn’t seem to notice, and talks about changing the oil in her car. The wife is upset her husband isn’t jealous. The husband feels his extra work isn’t appreciated.

What does this have to do with love? The man and woman each define love differently. For him, love is practical, and is best shown by supportive gestures like car maintenance. For her, love is possessive, and a jealous response by her husband makes her feel valued.

Understanding what makes your partner feel loved can help you navigate conflict and put romance back into your relationship. You and your partner can take the Love Style quiz from Dr. Hatkoff and find out how each of you defines love. If you learn your partner tends toward jealousy, make sure you notice when someone is flirting with him or her. If your partner is practical in love, notice the many small ways he or she shows love by taking care of everyday needs.

Reignite Romance

Romantic love has been called a “natural addiction” because it activates the brain’s reward center — notably the dopamine pathways associated with drug addiction, alcohol and gambling. But those same pathways are also associated with novelty, energy, focus, learning, motivation, ecstasy and craving. No wonder we feel so energized and motivated when we fall in love!

But we all know that romantic, passionate love fades a bit over time, and (we hope) matures into a more contented form of committed love. Even so, many couples long to rekindle the sparks of early courtship. But is it possible?

The relationship researcher Arthur Aron, a psychology professor who directs the Interpersonal Relationships Laboratory at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, has found a way. The secret? Do something new and different — and make sure you do it together. New experiences activate the brain’s reward system, flooding it with dopamine and norepinephrine. These are the same brain circuits that are ignited in early romantic love. Whether you take a pottery class or go on a white-water rafting trip, activating your dopamine systems while you are together can help bring back the excitement you felt on your first date. In studies of couples, Dr. Aron has found that partners who regularly share new experiences report greater boosts in marital happiness than those who simply share pleasant but familiar experiences.

How to Have a Better Relationship

Diagnose Your Passion Level

The psychology professor Elaine Hatfield has suggested that the love we feel early in a relationship is different than what we feel later. Early on, love is “passionate,” meaning we have feelings of intense longing for our mate. Longer-term relationships develop “companionate love,” which can be described as a deep affection, and strong feelings of commitment and intimacy.

Where does your relationship land on the spectrum of love? The Passionate Love Scale, developed by Dr. Hatfield, of the University of Hawaii, and Susan Sprecher, a psychology and sociology professor at Illinois State University, can help you gauge the passion level of your relationship. Once you see where you stand, you can start working on injecting more passion into your partnership. Note that while the scale is widely used by relationship researchers who study love, the quiz is by no means the final word on the health of your relationship. Take it for fun and let the questions inspire you to talk to your partner about passion. After all, you never know where the conversation might lead.

Sex

For most couples, the more sex they have, the happier the relationship.

How Much Sex Are You Having?

Let’s start with the good news. Committed couples really do have more sex than everyone else. Don’t believe it? While it’s true that single people can regale you with stories of crazy sexual episodes, remember that single people also go through long dry spells. A March 2017 report found that 15 percent of men and 27 percent of women reported they hadn’t had sex in the past year. And 9 percent of men and 18 percent of women say they haven’t had sex in five years. The main factors associated with a sexless life are older age and not being married. So whether you’re having committed or married sex once a week, once a month or just six times a year, the fact is that there’s still someone out there having less sex than you. And if you’re one of those people NOT having sex, this will cheer you up: Americans who are not having sex are just as happy as their sexually-active counterparts.

But Who’s Counting?

Even though most people keep their sex lives private, we do know quite a bit about people’s sex habits. The data come from a variety of sources, including the General Social Survey, which collects information on behavior in the United States, and the International Social Survey Programme, a similar study that collects international data, and additional studies from people who study sex like the famous Kinsey Institute. A recent trend is that sexual frequency is declining among millennials, likely because they are less likely than earlier generations to have steady partners.

Based on that research, here’s some of what we know about sex:

The average adult has sex 54 times a year.
The average sexual encounter lasts about 30 minutes.
About 5 percent of people have sex at least three times a week.
People in their 20s have sex more than 80 times per year.
People in their 40s have sex about 60 times a year.
Sex drops to 20 times per year by age 65.
After the age of 25, sexual frequency declines 3.2 percent annually.
After controlling for age and time period, those born in the 1930s had sex the most often; people born in the 1990s (millennials) had sex the least often.
About 20 percent of people, most of them widows, have been celibate for at least a year.
The typical married person has sex an average of 51 times a year.
“Very Happy” couples have sex, on average, 74 times a year.
Married people under 30 have sex about 112 times a year; single people under 30 have sex about 69 times a year.
Married people in their 40s have sex 69 times a year; single people in their 40s have sex 50 times a year.

Active people have more sex.
People who drink alcohol have 20 percent more sex than teetotalers.
On average, extra education is associated with about a week’s worth of less sex each year.

Early and Often

One of the best ways to make sure your sex life stays robust in a long relationship is to have a lot of sex early in the relationship. A University of Georgia study of more than 90,000 women in 19 countries in Asia, Africa and the Americas found that the longer a couple is married, the less often they have sex, but that the decline appears to be relative to how much sex they were having when they first coupled. Here’s a look at frequency of married sex comparing the first year of marriage with the 10th year of marriage.