How to Be a Good Boyfriend 10 Tips for a Healthy Relationship – Relationships of any kind are complex and require ongoing work. To be a good boyfriend, it’s important to put in the work to unpack what it takes to be in a committed relationship. This work becomes the most rewarding when you are in a space where you can work together with your partner.

Being a good partner (whether boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse) requires a lot of humility and vulnerability as you challenge yourself and work on your blind spots. These tips can help anyone wanting to be a better partner. It’s crucial to have patience with yourself and recognize that blaming others or having them carry your issues won’t work long-term. Being a better boyfriend means that you and your partner are on the same team, and thus you treat them as such. They don’t teach us how to be a boyfriend, as they can apply to any partner in a relationship, be it a girlfriend, wife, or husband.

Some essential skills these tips will give you in your own life include:

• Knowing how to build a healthy relationship
• Ability to address signs of emotional neglect
• Avoid toxic relationships and abusive relationships
• Identify codependent relationship

10 Ways to Be a Better Boyfriend

Here are 10 tips on how to be a good boyfriend:

1. Listen to Your Partner

It can be easy to think you are listening but comprehending and digesting what your partner shares make your conversations much more meaningful. Consider your partner’s words and perspectives as a chance for you to learn more about them. Take every opportunity to remember and know what they mean so you can reference them later. Listening to your partner helps them know you genuinely want to know what they have to say and are actively considering their perspective. It improves emotional intimacy and trust.

2. Connect Daily

It can be easy to get lost in the grind of the day-to-day work that we forget to check in with our partners. If we know they are going through something big, it’s important to give them the chance to share their thoughts even if it seems like they are doing fine. You and your partner deserve love from a place of concern and support. Knowing that you remember important things in their life will improve your emotional intimacy and make it easier for them to come to you for help.

3. Practice Non-Verbal Communication

Much of our communication is non-verbal, and it can be hard for your partner when you are physically distant. Sometimes this is beyond your control as we all have responsibilities that will call for physical distance; however, being physically present with your partner is essential.

Some examples of non-verbal communication include:

• Holding their hand
• Sitting close to them
• Looking at them in the eyes
• Gentle touches

These small gestures show you are present and provide a sense of safety. It can also be validating and reassuring, so pay attention to your non-verbal communication.

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4. Understand Attachment Styles

Attachment styles are essential to consider when you are in a relationship. Your partner may have a different attachment style that conflicts with yours; if that is the case, what works for you may not work for them. Taking time to learn about yours and their attachment styles can give you new ways to connect in more meaningful ways for both of you.

5. Learn Each Other’s Love Language

Understanding love languages teach us how we need to be loved, but sometimes our love language may not be what our partner needs. It’s not fair to assume your partner knows your love language, so expecting that they should know when you have never shared it with them is a recipe for pain.

6. Respect Their Mental Health

Understanding your partner’s mental health issues is a love language we should practice more often. It is the most profound way of truly understanding who your person is and their story. It can be hard to know if the experiences that shaped us were indeed the same, but the emotions felt can be universal, such as pain, grief, and hardship. It’s crucial that when dating someone with depression or dating someone with anxiety, you must be mindful of how their mental illness impacts them and learn the proper ways to communicate when they have symptoms.

7. Show Empathy

Being empathetic is a skill that takes time to develop. Empathy doesn’t mean that you try to point out your partner’s gaps in understanding, as this can be very invalidating. It doesn’t mean you play devil’s advocate because it’s not a time to challenge your partner. Empathy means creating a space of emotional safety for your partner to experience their emotions and receive support–no feedback, no advice, no solutions.

8. Offer Validation

Even if you don’t understand or agree, validation’s purpose is to confirm that their perspective is correct because it’s real for them. We all need to be seen and heard, and confirmation from your partner can go a long way. As a boyfriend, it’s paramount to know that you influence your partner’s well-being and that what you say matters. Understanding this and depersonalizing the act of validation is critical because your partner is separate from you and will likely have different perspectives.

9. Fight Fair

Fights will happen, and a lack of conflicts doesn’t mean your relationship is healthier than with arguments. It’s in how we handle our disputes and how we manage to repair our relationship once a disagreement happens. Suppose one partner hits below the belt while the other tries to de-escalate. In that case, it will only make it more challenging to navigate the discussion to a solution.

Some crucial tips for being a fair boyfriend in a fight include:

• Recognize your limits in a fight
• Develop fair fighting rules
• Learn how to deal with relationship conflict

10. Structure Your Conversations

Having rules around when and where a difficult conversation will occur can be constructive. It gives both partners a chance to calm themselves if they are nervous, and gives them the time to think about their response, so one isn’t surprised or blinded. It levels the playing field by having structured conversations that involve thoughtfully planned responses and respect for each other’s time.